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Borderline

by Stone Cold Chakra

supported by
Rowan
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Rowan Beautiful and haunting, reminds me a lot of old-school grunge. This band is definitely a hidden gem I'd like to recommend to others. Favorite track: Nest.
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1.
wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain now and addict, not divorcing it wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain consequence is i don't care enough ooh wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain i used to have it carried on the wind wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain pretty words don't mean that much ooh how am i repeating this constant talk of the abyss wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain always tragic, made a choice to live wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain my imperfections aren't a crutch ooh how am i repeating this constant talk of the abyss wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain symptomatic of this corpse i'm in wrapped in fabric, bones of porcelain letters written to no one ooh how am i repeating this constant talk of the abyss oh..
2.
Glass 05:03
so i'm a whore glass-boned and bored you know me well see you in hell i.. swear i'll be late and all that you hate oh, holy rapist angsty and racist dear god, please, no this can't be so i can't believe you'd do this to me she shuts the door can't be too sure tears won't stop the bleeding dear god, please, no this can't be so i can't believe you'd do this to me dear god, just go leave me alone you watched me burn finally got what you deserve you got what you deserve.
3.
4.
illuminate me the fog is lifting in the clear water here over limbo eliminating the wind that stripped me now i'm safe i'm not sorry what happened i'm just sorry it happened i'm not sorry what happened yeah.. you swim with your eyes closed then night is day open your eyes slow so not to scare me away it seems i'm not sorry what happened i'm just sorry it happened i'm not sorry what happened yeah.. oh.. i'm not sorry what happened i'm just sorry it happened i'm not sorry what happened i'm just sorry it happened no..
5.
Relapse 04:20
would it be better if i just weren't alive living this way is a waste of just one life what a degenerate, and small as you like addicted to pain in a way i can't ever lie just one cigarette just one sip of red wine just one slip of my knife i relapse millions of reasons why i've been here before life isn't easy when all you think of is more freedom is something i'd do anything for tired of trying when i been knew i'm a whore give me just one cigarette just one sip of red wine just one slip of my knife i relapse i've been waiting for this moment i've been waiting for this moment just let me be and i'll get out of your way my mind is made up no matter what you could say leave me to die inside a cold, dark room let me do what i want, i swear, i'll never bother you let me just one cigarette just one sip of red wine just one slip of my knife i relapse just one cigarette just one sip of red wine just one slip of my knife i relapse i've been waiting i've been waiting for this moment
6.
who am i in love with who am i to say who am i to act like i wanna be away who am i today then who am i to die who am i to act like i don't wanna be alive mm.. guardian angel, what is what i need i'm begging you, don't ever turn your back on me guardian angel, what is wrong with me oh, please don't leave don't leave.. come back to haunt me terror sinking in so this is what it's like to lose a friend on the border i climb through the cold in a dream, you're flying high above this world mm.. guardian angel, what is what i need i'm begging you, don't ever turn your back on me guardian angel, what is wrong with me oh, please don't leave me guardian angel, what is what i need i'm begging you, don't ever turn your back on me guardian angel, what is wrong with me oh, please please don't leave me don't leave don't leave don't leave don't leave..
7.
Worth It 04:28
what's this supposed to mean don't get so close to me inside is comatose might try to overdose shake for the talking heads learn how to wake the dead words never meant before god, this is such a chore bottles with lacquer in bandages and safety pins drunk off a surrogate fuck off, you're not worth it what's this supposed to mean you got so close to me inside is comatose might try to overdose, who knows "i.. i don't know what to say anymore, like.. it's just.. it's all the same with you, it's.. every time i turn my back, it's always just the same thing: you always wanna die. and no matter how much love i give you, no matter how much i do, no matter how much i say, like.. i know you're all over there crying in your sleep, and screaming, and waking up.. trying to get (him) to stay with you and i just.. it's draining me too much, i can't. it's too much. it's too much, i can't do this; it's too much. don't you understand me?" i'm not worth it? you're not worth it.
8.
For The Kids 02:05
9.
The Healer 04:13
the healer has chosen death all of her life was a test she could not help but to lose no one could have untied the noose no one knew her pain, cos she was full of light never saw a change but something wasn't right and if we meet again i hope it's late at night and we can dance till we're alright the healer has chosen death all of her life was a test she could not help but to lose no one could have untied the noose until she lives again we'll be fraying ends try to wait for another chance but nothing comes, you know and no one knew her pain, cos she was full of light never saw a change but something wasn't right and if we meet again i hope it's late at night and we can dance till we're alright it's alright it's alright it's alright and no one knew her pain, cos she was full of light never saw a change but something wasn't right and if we meet again i hope it's late at night and we can dance till we're alright
10.
Empty 06:30
it's so hard to read me found my worth in someone else lay in bed and wait for tomorrow tomorrow never really comes waiting's such waste of time not like i'd find peace of mind some escape i think i missed to kill this pain no one can see with this hole inside, i wake thankful for another day in these chains i have to break but don't know how i used to be a normal kid used to know how to have fun wanted nothing else than me but i'm not what i tried to be with this hole inside, i wake thankful for another day in these chains i have to break but don't know how with this hole inside, i wake thankful for another day in these chains i have to break but don't know how do you? can you help me, now? feels so empty in my chest feels so empty in my chest feels so empty in my chest feels so empty in my..
11.
Nest 05:00
oh, what a shame, oh, what a shame. no one to blame? no one to blame. mm.. control obsessed, control obsessed. choke in the nest choke in the nest.. mm..
12.
If I Wanted 03:39
if i wanted, could've said no if you wanted, could make it easier on me if i wanted, could've said so but you wanted to stay playin now i have no enemy taking all my energy i say, in hope that i might fall asleep tonight if i wanted, could run away if you wanted, could make it feel like i should stay if i wanted, could dream of praying but you wanted to stay playin now i have no enemy taking all my energy i say, in hope that i might fall asleep tonight willing lies i tell myself vanities i'll never tell it's in the hope that i might ever feel alive it's all your fault it's all your fault it's all your fault now i have no enemy taking all my energy i say, in hope that i might fall asleep tonight willing lies i tell myself vanities i'll never tell it's in the hope that i might ever feel alive it's all your fault it's all your fault it's all your fault it's all your fault it's all your fault it's all your fault
13.
Fading 03:16
it hurts, i suppose but when's it ever painless so on the nose it's like i might have done this once before so close you could have been neighbours all this really shows is i'm not good at changing and i'm gonna stay for myself learn how to be on my own if you lose your way, oh well find your way back home i'm fading don't go to the light, you say but i'm fading into the eternal night and i'm saving you the pain of living with this curse i clearly am i clearly am to you to you.. and i'm cutting again something that i promised to stay firm against feels just like i'm falling down again i know everything that comes has to pass i know bad things never last and i'm gonna stay for myself learn how to be on my own if you lose your way, oh fucking well find your way back home i'm fading don't go to the light, you say but i'm fading into the eternal night and i'm saving you the pain of living with this curse i clearly am i clearly am to you
14.
won't you stay behind me too late for better timing future slipping further into the fore underestimate me seek to complicate me i told you to fuck off once before lesson learned, i guess let the right ones in tired of explaining your ignorance is draining craving something new that doesn't hurt i don't want perfection but won't chase your deception go find somebody else to burn lesson learned, i guess let the right ones in lesson learned, i guess let the right ones in i know, now i understand you so slow, but now i cannot stand you i know, now i understand you too slow, but now i cannot stand you you you lesson learned, i guess let the right ones in lesson learned, i guess let the right ones in in in yeah
15.
i don't deserve to feel this hurt you betrayed her, you traitor head bowed in shame, i'm just the same would you trade her, you traitor all of this time we could have been all of the lies, just to begin i don't deserve what you can give and you're nothing, unloving head bowed in weakness, i don't understand and you're nothing, you're nothing. all of this time we could have been all of the lies, just to begin all of this time we could have been all of the lies, just to begin.. i wish i were someone (ad infinitum)
16.
17.

about

borderline personality disorder is a mood regulation disorder, where a person tends to see and feel things in absolutes: the world is perceived as either black or white, good or bad, holy or evil. above all else there is a serious fear of abandonment, real or imagined. can struggle with feelings of chronic emptiness or numbness. they can experience drastic/overwhelming changes in mood or point of view, and are highly sensitive to shifts in their surroundings. low self-esteem and difficulties relating to identity; prone to self-harm or be suicidal. found to be resistant to most forms of treatment, though help is possible and should be thoroughly encouraged.
if you or someone you know has this condition, please know you're not alone. you don't have to do this on your own; please reach out to someone if you need to.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line:
"HELLO" to 741741
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration:
1-800-662-HELP (4357)

stay safe bebs~
and ps, thanks for sticking with me so patiently. it means the world <3

credits

released November 18, 2021

composition and engineering done by Stone Cold Chakra at Theysment Studio
cover art done by Ashley W.

album dedicated to Ezra Darcy Pierce (Shayla Hall)
15/03/1996 ... 18/09/2020
a tough battle needs a fierce warrior. rest in power.

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Stone Cold Chakra Glen Arm, Maryland

ever tried to describe the taste of salt?

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